Diary Underneath a Bed (1)

Arnaldo

November 13, 2014

I still bring a pen and a notebook with me these days but I no longer keep a diary. In a way, this blog became my personal journal.

Lately, I have been reading my diaries and I regret abandoning it. There’s simply no replacing jotting down your day to day experience in a diary. You capture, in real time, your emotions as well as your state of mind—and even the mundane moments.

Reading them now feels like reading a letter you sent to yourself years ago.

In 2009, I was assigned in Cebu. I had difficulties adjusting in the first few weeks. Far from home, everything is alien. It’s funny that even when I had all sorts of problems, I still thought of “visiting historical places.” For reasons I could not begin to explain, travelling was still a priority even when there’s no money to do it!

An entry on the 20th of March, 2009:

“I plan to go to historical sites tomorrow….wake up early… need to make sure that I utilize my free time…. I don’t have much money but I can’t let a day go by without doing something…”

But, the following day, Saturday, I could not even go to the next town outside the city. There’s just no money for it!

I’m considering reviving the practice—but maybe not everyday. I don’t even know why I stopped in the first place. A diary is very personal, reflective like meditation and calming. We have to write down our dreams, feelings and what’s beautiful—that’s what those cave men did thousands of years ago with their crude tools.

Dated March 20, 2009 – I had a horrible headache after my long walk trying to find an apartment…looking for a cheap room… – Worst, the house rules are simply ridiculous…more like your renting a place to imprison yourself – Last day of work…I plan to visit historical sites here…being without a computer is bad…I’ll probably end up buying a laptop after all – The Indian bosses are allowing us to just observe…we’re left just wandering around… I feel so unproductive – I plan to go to historical sites tomorrow….wake up early… need to make sure that I utilize my freetime…. I don’t have much money but I can’t let a day go by without doing something—- – Worried about my finance…a month away from the first pay check…already running out of funds…

The next day…I like writing using a fountain pen. After some years, the ink fades away until its barely readable. Making it appear older than it is. They use to produce inks with iron sulfate. If you look at old letters, you’ll notice some rusting because of the oxidation. Now, fountain pens are convenient to use, mine, made by Schneider, have ink cartridges.

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I’ll be putting some of my diary entries in this blog. This is for my personal enjoyment but of course, I hope, these blogs inspire people to write something on their diary.